{"title":"Best Sellers","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis is the shelf people raid first. Sprays, cushions, noise machines, fake poop and a wall of shirts nobody will thank you for. If you have no idea where to start, start here and let everybody else's poor decisions guide you.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"fart-machine-with-remote-fart-noise-maker-machine-with-50-different-realistic-sounds-portable-wireless-controlled-farting-toys","title":"50-Sound Remote Fart Machine","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fart Machine That Never Runs Out of Material\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSomewhere in a lab, a team of very serious engineers sat down and asked themselves one question: \"How many different ways can a fart sound?\" The answer, apparently, is fifty. This little remote-control speaker holds an entire greatest-hits album of toots, rips, squeakers, and room-clearers, and it will happily deploy any one of them the second you press the button, from up to 10 meters away. That's far enough to sit across the dinner table, look your victim dead in the eye, and still get away with it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe unit itself is small enough to vanish under a couch cushion, tape behind a picture frame, or tuck into a desk drawer where nobody will think to look until it's too late. Set it up before guests arrive, before your coworker sits down for their 9am meeting, or before Grandma settles into her recliner for Thanksgiving dinner, then sit back and let the chaos write itself. Nobody ever suspects the couch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the gift that keeps on giving, mostly because the person receiving it will be using it on everyone else for months. Birthdays, White Elephant swaps, Christmas stockings, Halloween party favors - wherever a room full of people needs to be startled into laughter, this thing earns its keep.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: Plastic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: 6.8 x 2.6 cm\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColor: Silver\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePower: 3 x AAA batteries (not included)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRemote range: Up to 10 meters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x Fart Machine, 1 x Remote Control (button battery included)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"Silver","offer_id":49987043066098,"sku":"14:202422806#silver","price":23.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/Sda28e7e6dc134ee0a65d6975de7f3b11T.webp?v=1787821205"},{"product_id":"stinky-spray-realistic-prank-odor-funny-prop-must-have-toy-for-party-pranks-spray-party-surprise","title":"Fart Prank Spray","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne Spray, Zero Alibi\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not a subtle product. It is a tiny 50ml bottle engineered, tested, and perfected for a single purpose: making a room smell like something went terribly, hilariously wrong. The formula is disturbingly convincing, which is exactly the point, and one quick spritz is all it takes to turn an innocent bathroom, break room, or backseat into a full-blown crime scene with no actual crime.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's small enough to live in a coat pocket, a backpack side pouch, or a desk drawer, which means the joke is always within arm's reach whenever the moment strikes. Spray it in a sibling's bedroom right before bed, in a coworker's cubicle five minutes before their big call, or in the passenger seat right as your friend gets back in the car with their coffee. The confusion on their face is the whole reward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade with a non-toxic, plant-based formula, it's safe to use indoors without turning your prank into an actual hazmat situation, and it holds up on the shelf for years, so it's ready and waiting for the next unsuspecting victim whenever inspiration strikes again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContent: 50ml\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShelf life: 3 years\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStorage: Cool, dry place\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x Fart Prank Spray Bottle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"50ml","offer_id":49987072131314,"sku":"14:202422806#50ml","price":8.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/S77a2a4f4530649388ddc41785c0869ebc.webp?v=1787822058"},{"product_id":"stink-spray-extra-strong-potent-stink-smell-hilarious-gag-funny-pranks-stuff-adults-stocking-stuffers-fools-non-toxic-bad-gas","title":"Extra Strong Stink Spray","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChoose Your Weapon, Then Choose Your Exit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot every stink deserves the same strategy, which is why this one comes with options. Pick your scent profile depending on the crime you're trying to frame someone for, and pick your bottle size depending on how big a mess you're willing to make. Either way, the result is the same: a room nobody wants to stand in and a victim who will absolutely blame the dog first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis spray doesn't do subtle. It's built to be extra strong, the kind of potent that makes people abandon a meeting, evacuate a dorm room, or suddenly remember they need fresh air right this second. The included glove means you can load up the sprayer and walk away clean, no lingering evidence on your hands to give the game away when everyone starts pointing fingers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt packs down small enough to stash in a bag, a locker, or a glovebox, and the sealed cap keeps it contained between missions so it doesn't go off early and ruin the surprise. Bring it to the next white elephant exchange, the next dorm prank war, or the next office April Fools' ambush, and let the chaos pick its own scent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable sizes: 30ml, 50ml\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScent options: Feces, Body Odor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: Non-toxic organic formula\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBest used in an enclosed indoor space\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x Stink Spray Bottle, 1 x Glove\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"Feces - 50ml","offer_id":49987072229618,"sku":"14:202419806#Feces 50ml","price":16.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Body Odor - 50ml","offer_id":49987072262386,"sku":"14:202418806#Body odor 50ml","price":16.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Feces - 30ml","offer_id":49987072295154,"sku":"14:202422806#Feces 30ml","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Body Odor - 30ml","offer_id":49987072327922,"sku":"14:202422807#Body odor 30ml","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/Se4c7c964616f453fbd1466674ad1f7513_2a39f8e9-c594-4a1c-ba78-2c8e0beb8541.webp?v=1787822058"},{"product_id":"liquid-fart-spray-strong-stinky-odor-bringing-joyful-laughter-enhance-party-interaction-funny-toys-portable-party-prank-supplies","title":"Stinky Farts Prank Spray","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePocket-Sized Chaos, Ready on Demand\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome pranks need planning. This one just needs a pocket. This little spray bottle carries a shockingly realistic stinky-fart odor that goes from zero to \"who did that?\" in about two seconds flat, and it's compact enough to slide into a jacket pocket, a purse, or a backpack pouch without anyone noticing it's even there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat's exactly the point. Half the fun isn't the smell itself, it's the setup. Spritz it under a couch cushion before movie night, in a car seat right before a road trip, or near a friend's desk five minutes before they sit down, then watch the accusations fly while you sit there completely innocent. Nobody suspects the person who isn't even sniffing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause a single bottle rarely covers a whole prank season, it comes available in single bottles or multi-packs, so serial pranksters can stock up and keep the surprises coming all year without ever running dry. Stored somewhere cool, it holds its punch for years, patiently waiting for its next unsuspecting target.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContent: 50ml per bottle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShelf life: 3 years\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStorage: Cool place, away from direct sunlight\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: Fart spray bottle(s) per selected pack size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"2 x 50ml","offer_id":49987072590066,"sku":"14:202422807#2 x 50ml Boxed","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4 x 50ml","offer_id":49987072622834,"sku":"14:202418806#4 x 50ml Boxed","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"1 x 50ml","offer_id":49987072655602,"sku":"14:202422806#50ml Boxed","price":9.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3 x 50ml","offer_id":49987072688370,"sku":"14:202419806#3 x 50ml Boxed","price":17.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/Sf1036628a393453abe3f48d202840dddC.webp?v=1787822059"},{"product_id":"fart-spray-prank-trick-spray-party-supplies-prank-smell-spray-suitable-for-adults-non-toxic-halloween-funny-toys","title":"Extra Strong Fart Prank Spray","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Bottle That Ends Meetings Early\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the big one. Where the pocket-sized sprays handle the occasional light ambush, this mega 100ml bottle is built for sustained, room-emptying warfare. One spray is genuinely unpleasant. A few sprays and people start finding excuses to be somewhere else, fast, usually with their shirt pulled up over their nose and a look of betrayal in their eyes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe formula is engineered to smell exactly as bad as it needs to, which is to say, impressively, distressingly bad, while staying completely non-toxic and non-flammable so the only thing getting hurt is everyone's dignity. Because the bottle holds double the ammo of a standard spray, it's built for repeat offenses rather than a single strike, which matters when you're dealing with a roommate who never learns their lesson.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt ships in two different packaging styles, so whether it's headed for a Halloween goodie bag, an April Fools' ambush, or a straight-up office prank war, it shows up looking the part. Whatever the occasion, this bottle doesn't do half-measures, and neither should the prank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContent: 100ml per bottle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFormula: Non-toxic, non-flammable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x Fart Prank Spray Bottle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"Orange","offer_id":49987072491762,"sku":"14:200002984#B","price":11.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue","offer_id":49987072524530,"sku":"14:200004889#A","price":11.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/A_cutout.png?v=1787862607"},{"product_id":"tricky-gag-novelty-practical-10pcs-set-stink-aroma-bombs-smelly-fart-bags","title":"Stink Bomb Prank Bags 10-Pack","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSqueeze It, Drop It, Run\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere's a reason this gag has stuck around for generations: it works every single time. Squeeze the inner packet until it pops, set the little bag down on the floor, desk, or hallway, and step back to watch it slowly puff up like it's about to say something important. Then it does, loudly, with a pop and a smell that clears the immediate area before politely fading away like nothing ever happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo batteries, no setup, no learning curve required. Just squeeze and go, which makes it the perfect grab-and-run prank for the moment someone leaves the room, walks past your desk, or dares you to do something funny at the party. It's simple enough for a first-time prankster and satisfying enough that even seasoned troublemakers keep a few in their pocket.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause good ideas deserve backup, this set comes with 10 individually packaged bombs, which means ten separate chances to catch someone off guard before anyone figures out your pattern. Stash a few in a desk drawer, a backpack, or a party goodie bag and you're set for a whole afternoon of chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: 90 x 67mm per bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: Plastic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eQuantity: 10 pieces per set\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRecommended for ages 8 and up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 10 x Stink Bomb Bags\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"Smelly Bomb","offer_id":49987072786674,"sku":"14:202422806#10PCS Smelly Bomb","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Aroma Bomb","offer_id":49987072819442,"sku":"14:202422807#10PCS Aroma Bomb","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/S746a513478314a66831c19be7de9c5a9k.webp?v=1787822060"},{"product_id":"huge-fart-loading-mens-t-shirt-humor-tee-joke-gag-tshirt-for-dad-gifts-guys-male-clothes-short-sleeve-tees-funny-graphic-tops","title":"Fart Loading Funny T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Shirt That Says What Everyone's Thinking\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSomewhere between \"casual t-shirt\" and \"public service announcement\" sits this graphic tee, proudly displaying a mid-load \"Fart Loading\" progress bar with a cheeky \"Please wait...\" underneath. It's the shirt equivalent of that awkward silence right before someone excuses themselves from the room, worn loud and proud instead of hidden in shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's built for the people who never quite grew out of bathroom humor and honestly never wanted to. Dads who drop the joke at every family dinner, husbands who think the buffering wheel is the height of comedy, brothers who will absolutely wear this to Thanksgiving just to watch Mom sigh. Slide it on for a birthday, Father's Day, a White Elephant exchange, or a random Tuesday when someone in the group chat needs cheering up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnderneath the joke is an actually decent t-shirt: soft, breathable cotton-blend fabric in a classic crew neck and regular fit that holds up wash after wash, so the progress bar keeps loading long after the first laugh. Available in multiple colors and progress-bar styles, because even a fart joke deserves a little variety.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Regular, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSleeve: Short sleeve\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNeckline: Crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: XXS through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCare: Machine washable, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x T-Shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"Navy - Fart Loading 35% \/ XL","offer_id":49987073573106,"sku":"14:193#BX241116-4-2;5:100014065","price":15.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy - Fart Loading 35% \/ XXL","offer_id":49987073605874,"sku":"14:193#BX241116-4-2;5:4182","price":16.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy - Fart Loading 35% \/ 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This whoopee cushion answers that call with a molded poop-emoji shape and one of three random cartoon faces - could be winking, could be cross-eyed, could be mid-gasp. You won't know which personality you're getting until it shows up, which is honestly half the fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe other half of the fun happens the second someone sits on it. Tuck it under a couch cushion, a desk chair, or that one uncle's recliner at Thanksgiving, and let physics do the rest. The rubber build is sturdy enough to survive being sat on again and again, so this isn't a one-and-done gag - it's a whole prank career. 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Win!","offer_id":49987156934898,"sku":"b9a4db78-24f6-4360-aba0-1f1f8a9fb37b","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/ce4c33522551f0f92cb1849b39f287a0.jpg?v=1787823415"},{"product_id":"funny-golf-tees-cool-golf-accessories-for-men-6-pcs-3-inch-with-compact-carring-case-golfing-gag-gifts","title":"Funny Pin-Up Golf Tees Set","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Tee That Turns Heads (Politely)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome golf tees just hold a ball. These hold a ball and an entire personality. 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Slip it in a dad's bag, a buddy's bag, or your own - somebody's getting a laugh either way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTee size: 3 in x 0.5 in (7.5 cm x 1.3 cm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCase size: 3.46 x 3.07 x 0.71 in (8.8 x 7.8 x 1.8 cm)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWeight: 1.4 oz (40 g)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 6 x Golf Tees, 1 x Carrying Case\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":49987158442226,"sku":"9b73f538-01ea-42d7-9f83-bdd399a6ebdf","price":11.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/bee5eb3b4ae5ee2aa2858c0f7ec11284.jpg?v=1787823451"},{"product_id":"ultimate-middle-finger-golf-ball-marker-magnetic-hat-clip-alignment-ball-mark-funny-golf-accessory-cap-premium-gift-for-golf-enthusiasts","title":"Middle Finger Golf Ball Marker","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMark Your Spot. 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It even doubles as a handy alignment aid when you're lining up a putt, which is more than most novelty items can say for themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuilt from durable, waterproof, scratch-resistant enamel and available in a few different colors and finishes, it's tough enough for regular rounds and funny enough to be the best gag gift you give a golf buddy, coworker, or dad this year - or a great little tournament prize when you want the trophy table to have a sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAttachment: Magnetic hat clip\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Enamel, waterproof and scratch resistant\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x Ball Marker with Magnetic Hat Clip\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"Red","offer_id":49987162734834,"sku":"814d81da-817d-410f-bf5b-b106961e7961","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":49987162767602,"sku":"4c9cdaa0-c7e9-4bcc-8fdd-cf7445e82a3f","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue","offer_id":49987162800370,"sku":"6125e9b0-593f-4f6a-9384-3d4bb57d0530","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Tan","offer_id":49987162833138,"sku":"f14f0c3c-e323-4eae-89e7-c74895093849","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Gray","offer_id":49987162865906,"sku":"720becc8-ae62-4194-8c2f-befcc3391ac2","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green","offer_id":49987162898674,"sku":"6fedd00d-e78e-4320-97ee-23322667be1c","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Multicolor","offer_id":49987162931442,"sku":"16b2cfbd-8d76-4439-b61f-0248497c6b05","price":36.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink","offer_id":49987162964210,"sku":"e5067da9-dc78-4cb1-8a83-7788d385ac29","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Usa Design","offer_id":49987162996978,"sku":"14569647-705a-4036-914c-aa56c05383c2","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/2526632333cf82d7c41c62d45dc7cdbd.jpg?v=1787823576"},{"product_id":"toilet-golf-gag-gifts-for-men-white-elephant-gifts-for-adults","title":"Toilet Golf Putting Green Set","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause Every Bathroom Needs a Back Nine\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSomewhere along the way, someone realized that a lot of great putting practice happens sitting on the toilet scrolling their phone - and decided to do something about it. 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The green fits neatly around most standard toilet tanks without taking over the whole bathroom, and the putter is sized for real, satisfying practice swings, not just a toy that looks the part.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether it ends up as a permanent fixture for the golf obsessive in your life or a one-time party gag that steals the show, it's guaranteed to be the most talked-about thing in the bathroom - which, admittedly, is a low bar, but this clears it easily.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePutting green size: approximately 31.1 x 26.77 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePutter length: approximately 25.19 in\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x putting green, 1 x putter, 1 x cup with flag, 2 x golf balls\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"Men","offer_id":49987165520114,"sku":"9f34206d-9961-4b6f-81e3-e8b319915066","price":19.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/42f5299adebacae2695c6a12d28e58fe.jpg?v=1787823603"},{"product_id":"funny-middle-finger-keychain-led-light-projects-middle-finger-image-novelty-gag-gift-for-adults-funny-prank-gift-white-elephant-coworker-gift","title":"Middle Finger Projector LED Keychain","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Most Honest Nightlight You'll Ever Own\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people carry pepper spray for protection. 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12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e27 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e32 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e23 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e33 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49993207251186,"sku":"4114708_15114","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49993207283954,"sku":"4114708_15115","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49993207316722,"sku":"4114708_15116","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49993207349490,"sku":"4114708_15117","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49993207382258,"sku":"4114708_15118","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":49993207415026,"sku":"4114708_16326","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":49993207447794,"sku":"4114708_17500","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-black-front-6a924a968fff3.jpg?v=1787972267"},{"product_id":"this-girl-loves-to-fart","title":"This 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Blossom pink, cheerful as anything, and completely honest about what is happening.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt color: Blossom Pink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print: Sunglasses-wearing unicorn with a rainbow mane and a green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print: FARTMART logo with green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: 100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Relaxed unisex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollar: 7\/8\" double-needle topstitched\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x T-Shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f5f5f5;\"\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eWidth (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve center back (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e18 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e17 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e19\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e30 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e31 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e21 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e27 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e32 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e23 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e33 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49993211216114,"sku":"3148653_16541","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49993211248882,"sku":"3148653_16542","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49993211281650,"sku":"3148653_16543","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49993211314418,"sku":"3148653_16544","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49993211347186,"sku":"3148653_16545","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":49993211379954,"sku":"3148653_16546","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":49993211412722,"sku":"3148653_17503","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-blossom-front-6a924b884b6a1.jpg?v=1787972509"},{"product_id":"fart-loading","title":"Fart Loading 78 Percent Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlease Wait, Do Not Close This Window\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA progress bar frozen at 78 percent, glowing green, with the words PLEASE WAIT underneath. Anyone who has ever stared at a spinning wheel knows exactly what this feels like. The difference is that this particular download cannot be cancelled, cannot be paused, and absolutely cannot be minimized while you finish your meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe genius of it is the 78 percent. Not 20, where you could still walk it off. Not 99, where it is already over. Seventy-eight is the exact percentage where you sit very still, make no sudden movements, and start quietly calculating the distance to the nearest door.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for office workers, gamers, anyone with a long commute, and every person who has ever said the words give me a minute through gritted teeth. The bar never fills. That is the joke, and it works every single time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt color: Black\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print: Green loading bar stuck at 78 percent\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print: FARTMART logo with green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: 100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Relaxed unisex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollar: 7\/8\" double-needle topstitched\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x T-Shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f5f5f5;\"\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eWidth (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve center back (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e18 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e17 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e19\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e30 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e31 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e21 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e27 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e32 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e23 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e33 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49993216524530,"sku":"5134917_15114","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49993216557298,"sku":"5134917_15115","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49993216590066,"sku":"5134917_15116","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49993216622834,"sku":"5134917_15117","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49993216655602,"sku":"5134917_15118","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":49993216688370,"sku":"5134917_16326","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":49993216721138,"sku":"5134917_17500","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-black-front-6a924c14ce87c.jpg?v=1787972646"},{"product_id":"dont-scare-me","title":"Don't Scare Me I Fart Easily Cat Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA Formal Warning To Everyone Behind You\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cat on this shirt has just been startled, and it shows. Eyes enormous, mouth wide open, back legs launched off the ground, and a green cloud already deploying behind it like a rocket booster. It is the single most accurate drawing of a jump scare ever committed to fabric.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people have a startle reflex that runs through their hands. Others have one that runs somewhere considerably less convenient. If you are the second kind, you already know that a sudden loud noise, a door slamming, or a friend leaping out from behind a corner does not just make you jump. It makes an announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eConsider this shirt a liability waiver. You warned them. It was printed in large letters on your chest. Whatever happens next is legally their fault, and the cat is your witness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt color: Moss Green\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print: Startled cat mid-jump with a green cloud behind it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print: FARTMART logo with green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: 100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Relaxed unisex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollar: 7\/8\" double-needle topstitched\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x T-Shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f5f5f5;\"\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eWidth (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve center back (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e18 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e17 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e19\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e30 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e31 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e21 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e27 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e32 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e23 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e33 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24 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The joke lands in about a second and a half, and it keeps landing every time he puts the shirt on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt color: Black\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print: Gold number one trophy with a laurel wreath and FARTER banner\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print: FARTMART logo with green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: 100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Relaxed unisex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollar: 7\/8\" double-needle topstitched\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x 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12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e17 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid 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style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e27 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e32 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e23 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e33 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49993246212338,"sku":"7073719_17655","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49993246245106,"sku":"7073719_17656","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49993246277874,"sku":"7073719_17657","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49993246310642,"sku":"7073719_17658","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49993246343410,"sku":"7073719_17659","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":49993246376178,"sku":"7073719_17660","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":49993246408946,"sku":"7073719_17661","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-granite-front-6a924ebdbb56b.jpg?v=1787973323"},{"product_id":"squat-now","title":"Squat 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SQUAT NOW at the top, FART LATER at the bottom. Anyone who has ever gone below parallel with a loaded bar knows this is not a joke. This is documentary footage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere is a specific point in a heavy set where your body decides it has more pressing priorities than your dignity. You are focused, the form is good, the bar is moving, and then your core makes a decision you were not consulted on. The rep still counts. You just have to live with how you earned it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade for gym regulars, powerlifters, CrossFit people and anyone whose training partner has learned to stand slightly off to one side. Wear it to the squat rack and let everyone know exactly what they are standing near.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt color: Black\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print: Cartoon weightlifter squatting with a barbell and a green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print: FARTMART logo with green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: 100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Relaxed unisex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollar: 7\/8\" double-needle topstitched\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x T-Shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f5f5f5;\"\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eWidth (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve center back (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e18 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e17 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e19\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e30 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e31 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e21 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e27 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e32 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e23 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e33 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49993312796914,"sku":"8738913_15114","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49993312829682,"sku":"8738913_15115","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49993312862450,"sku":"8738913_15116","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49993312895218,"sku":"8738913_15117","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49993312927986,"sku":"8738913_15118","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":49993312960754,"sku":"8738913_16326","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":49993312993522,"sku":"8738913_17500","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-black-front-6a9250048b059.jpg?v=1787973654"},{"product_id":"sometimes-i-just-be-fartin","title":"Sometimes I Just Be Fartin' Penguin Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo Reason, No Warning, No Apology\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA penguin in a FARTMART cap and blue mirrored sunglasses, arms out, completely relaxed, with a green cloud drifting off to one side. He is not embarrassed. He is not explaining himself. He is just a guy who sometimes be fartin, and he has made his peace with it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere is no story here. No spicy meal the night before, no dodgy gas station burrito, no medical condition. Sometimes there is simply no cause at all. Your body just decides that now is the moment, gives you no advance notice, and moves on with its day as if nothing happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the most relaxed shirt in the entire range. Chambray blue, easy-going, and philosophically unbothered. Ideal for anyone whose entire personal defence is a shrug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt color: Chambray Blue\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print: Penguin in a FARTMART cap and sunglasses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print: FARTMART logo with green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: 100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Relaxed unisex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollar: 7\/8\" double-needle topstitched\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x T-Shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f5f5f5;\"\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eWidth (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve center back (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e18 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e17 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e19\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e30 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e31 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e21 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e27 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e32 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e23 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e33 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49993621111026,"sku":"3714409_17648","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49993621143794,"sku":"3714409_17649","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49993621176562,"sku":"3714409_17650","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49993621209330,"sku":"3714409_17651","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49993621242098,"sku":"3714409_17652","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":49993621274866,"sku":"3714409_17653","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":49993621307634,"sku":"3714409_17654","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-chambray-front-6a925737b58fa.jpg?v=1787975495"},{"product_id":"queen-of-farts","title":"Queen 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She is not hiding it behind a fan. She is not blaming a corgi. She is sitting on her throne in full regalia and letting the kingdom deal with it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery friendship group, every family and every office has a queen. She holds court, she runs the group chat, she decides where everyone is eating, and she has absolutely no shame about any bodily function whatsoever. Attempting to embarrass her is a strategy that has never once worked.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlossom pink and completely unbothered. Give it to the loudest woman you love, the one who genuinely cannot be shamed, and watch her wear it to brunch like it is a coronation gown.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt color: Blossom Pink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print: Crowned queen on a red velvet throne with a green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print: FARTMART logo with green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: 100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Relaxed unisex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollar: 7\/8\" double-needle topstitched\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x T-Shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f5f5f5;\"\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eWidth (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve center back (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e18 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e17 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e19\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e30 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e31 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e21 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd 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⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49993637396722,"sku":"4684781_16541","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49993637429490,"sku":"4684781_16542","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49993637462258,"sku":"4684781_16543","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49993637495026,"sku":"4684781_16544","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49993637527794,"sku":"4684781_16545","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":49993637560562,"sku":"4684781_16546","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":49993637593330,"sku":"4684781_17503","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-blossom-front-6a9257f1a9d94.jpg?v=1787975684"},{"product_id":"public-tooter","title":"Certified 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It looks exactly like an official accreditation seal, which is precisely what makes it so good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere are people who wait until they are alone. Then there are people who do it in the queue at the supermarket, in a lift with four strangers, and halfway down a busy aisle on an aeroplane. They do not lower their voice. They do not speed up their walking. They accept the room's reaction as simply part of the experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone you know has genuinely earned this accreditation, this is their badge. It is black, it is official-looking, and it warns people from a respectful distance, which is more courtesy than they have ever shown anyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt color: Black\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print: Circular badge with a gas mask venting two green clouds\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print: FARTMART logo with green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: 100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Relaxed unisex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollar: 7\/8\" double-needle topstitched\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: S to 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¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e17 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 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⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49993657123058,"sku":"6145889_15114","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49993657155826,"sku":"6145889_15115","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49993657188594,"sku":"6145889_15116","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49993657221362,"sku":"6145889_15117","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49993657254130,"sku":"6145889_15118","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":49993657286898,"sku":"6145889_16326","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":49993657319666,"sku":"6145889_17500","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-black-front-6a92594d6979f.jpg?v=1787976032"},{"product_id":"talk-behind-your-back","title":"Talk 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