{"product_id":"never-trust-a-fart","title":"Never Trust A Fart Superhero Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Hero Who Learned The Hard Way\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHere is a grown man in a cape and cowboy boots, sitting on a toilet, calmly reading a newspaper called the DAILY TOOT while a green cloud fills the room around him. He has clearly been through something. The eyes behind those goggles have seen things. And the caption underneath is the only piece of advice he has left to give the world: never trust a fart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEveryone learns this lesson eventually. There is always one that feels routine, one that feels safe, one you would bet money on. Then physics gets involved and suddenly you are walking very slowly toward a bathroom with a completely blank expression on your face. This shirt is for the people who already know, and a public service announcement for the ones who do not yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to the gym, wear it on a long drive, wear it to any event where you will be more than four minutes from a bathroom. It is a warning label for your entire torso, and it doubles as the greatest excuse ever printed on cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt color: Black\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print: Caped hero on a toilet reading the Daily Toot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print: FARTMART logo with green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: 100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Relaxed unisex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollar: 7\/8\" double-needle topstitched\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x T-Shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f5f5f5;\"\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eWidth (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve center back (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e18 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e17 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e19\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e30 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e31 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e21 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e27 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e32 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e23 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e33 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49993207251186,"sku":"4114708_15114","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49993207283954,"sku":"4114708_15115","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49993207316722,"sku":"4114708_15116","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49993207349490,"sku":"4114708_15117","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49993207382258,"sku":"4114708_15118","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":49993207415026,"sku":"4114708_16326","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":49993207447794,"sku":"4114708_17500","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-black-front-6a924a968fff3.jpg?v=1787972267","url":"https:\/\/fartmart.com\/products\/never-trust-a-fart","provider":"FARTMART","version":"1.0","type":"link"}