{"product_id":"professional-farter","title":"Professional Farter Licensed Gas Engineer Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCredentials Nobody Asked To See\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA laminated ID badge hanging from a lanyard, complete with a photo of a slightly smug character in a cap and sunglasses, and the job title underneath: LICENSED GAS ENGINEER. Above it, in large letters, PROFESSIONAL FARTER. A green cloud drifts beside the badge, presumably as proof of qualification.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAmateurs do this for free. A professional treats it as a trade. There is training involved, years of it, plus an instinct for timing that simply cannot be taught. The badge is not for you. The badge is for everyone else, so they understand that what is about to happen is being carried out by a qualified individual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhite, crisp, and looks almost credible from a distance, which is the entire joke. Perfect for actual gas engineers, plumbers, tradesmen, and any office worker who wants to escalate the situation considerably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt color: White\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print: Laminated ID badge on a lanyard reading Licensed Gas Engineer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print: FARTMART logo with green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: 100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Relaxed unisex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollar: 7\/8\" double-needle topstitched\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x T-Shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f5f5f5;\"\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eWidth (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve center back (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e18 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e17 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 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style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e27 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e32 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e23 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e33 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49994247176434,"sku":"4871235_15124","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49994247209202,"sku":"4871235_15125","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49994247241970,"sku":"4871235_15126","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49994247274738,"sku":"4871235_15127","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49994247307506,"sku":"4871235_15128","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":49994247340274,"sku":"4871235_16335","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":49994247373042,"sku":"4871235_17508","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-white-front-6a9268f855cbc.jpg?v=1787980040","url":"https:\/\/fartmart.com\/products\/professional-farter","provider":"FARTMART","version":"1.0","type":"link"}