{"product_id":"talk-behind-your-back","title":"Talk Behind Your Back Donkey Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Only Comeback That Always Lands\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA donkey in sunglasses, standing there completely unbothered, firing a green cloud out behind it. The caption reads IF THEY TALK BEHIND YOUR BACK, and then, in enormous letters, FART. It is the shortest and most effective piece of life advice ever printed on a shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou cannot out-argue gossip. You cannot reason with it, you cannot outrun it, and getting upset about it only feeds it. What you can do is turn around slowly, make a small contribution to the atmosphere, and walk away while the conversation resolves itself. Nobody has ever continued talking about someone under those conditions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIvory, clean, and calm looking, right up until anyone actually reads it. Perfect for the office, family gatherings, and any environment where people are being weird behind your back and you have decided to handle it your own way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt color: Ivory\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront print: Sunglasses-wearing donkey firing a green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack print: FARTMART logo with green cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: 100% ring-spun cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFinish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFit: Relaxed unisex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCollar: 7\/8\" double-needle topstitched\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConstruction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes: 1 x T-Shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize Guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable style=\"width:100%;border-collapse:collapse;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f5f5f5;\"\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eWidth (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;text-align:left;\"\u003eSleeve center back (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e18 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e16 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e17 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ⅜\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e19\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e30 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e20 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e31 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e21 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr style=\"background-color:#f9f9f9;\"\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e27 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e32 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e23 ¼\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e29 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e33 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"padding:8px 12px;border:1px solid #ddd;\"\u003e24 ⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"FARTMART","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":49993663217906,"sku":"3096217_16523","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":49993663250674,"sku":"3096217_16524","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":49993663283442,"sku":"3096217_16525","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":49993663316210,"sku":"3096217_16526","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":49993663348978,"sku":"3096217_16527","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":49993663381746,"sku":"3096217_16528","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":49993663414514,"sku":"3096217_17507","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0844\/8825\/7778\/files\/unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-ivory-front-6a925a67a9d57.jpg?v=1787976316","url":"https:\/\/fartmart.com\/products\/talk-behind-your-back","provider":"FARTMART","version":"1.0","type":"link"}