Some brands start with a mission statement. FartMart started with a dare.
We have been in the gag business since 1999, back when a whoopee cushion under a dining chair counted as advanced technology and one stink bomb could empty an entire school corridor. Not much has changed since. The catalogue got bigger, the shipping got faster, and our sense of humour got considerably worse. We are still the shop you come to when somebody in your life has started taking themselves far too seriously and needs reminding that they are, biologically speaking, a bag of gas with opinions.
Meet Dr. Gasman
Every serious operation needs a leader. Ours wears a cape, a red mask and a yellow lightning bolt, and he has never apologised for anything in his life. Dr. Gasman is our mascot, our quality control department and the single reason our warehouse smells the way it does. He tests everything personally. If a prank does not make him laugh, it does not make the shelf.
What we actually sell
Fart sprays strong enough to clear a room. Whoopee cushions that work exactly as well as they did forty years ago. Jack in the box gag gifts, fake dog poop, sealed novelty jars, and shirts that announce your intentions long before you do. If it makes somebody jump, gag, or turn around slowly with a look of complete betrayal, there is a good chance we stock it.
Our one rule
Prank the people who can take it. This stuff is built for birthdays, office desks, little brothers, groomsmen and anybody who has genuinely earned it. It is not built to upset people who will not find it funny, damage property, or get you fired. Read the room first, then ruin it.
The slogan
Our slogan is WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT, and we mean it in the friendliest possible way. We do not chase trends, we do not run focus groups, and we have never once asked whether a fart joke is sophisticated enough. Twenty six years in, the answer is still no, and the orders still keep coming.
No taste. No shame. No regrets.
