I Whisper In My Pants Ninja Tee

Name: I Whisper In My Pants Ninja Tee
Brand: FARTMART
SKU: 7073719_17655
Price: 29.95 USD
Availability: InStock

$29.95

Silent, Deadly, Extremely Well Trained

A ninja in full black, crouched low in a fighting stance, having just released something devastating and completely inaudible. The design says I DON'T FART, then a beat, then I WHISPER IN MY PANTS. It is the best rebrand anyone has ever given a bodily function.

Loud ones are amateur hour. Anyone can be loud. The true master works in total silence, holds a straight face, maintains eye contact, and lets the room slowly figure out what has happened on its own. By the time anyone reacts, the ninja is already ten feet away holding a completely different conversation.

For the coworker who has perfected the silent office assassination, the friend who ruins car journeys without moving a muscle, and anyone who considers stealth to be a genuine skill set. Granite grey, so you blend in. Obviously.

Specifications

Shirt color: Granite Grey
Front print: Crouching cartoon ninja with a green cloud
Back print: FARTMART logo with green cloud
Material: 100% ring-spun cotton
Fabric weight: Heavyweight 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²)
Finish: Garment-dyed for a soft, broken-in feel
Fit: Relaxed unisex
Collar: 7/8" double-needle topstitched
Construction: Twill-taped neck and shoulders, double-needle armhole, sleeve and bottom hems
Sizes: S to 4XL
Includes: 1 x T-Shirt

Size Guide

Size	Width (in)	Length (in)	Sleeve center back (in)
S	18 ¼	26 ⅝	16 ¼
M	20 ¼	28	17 ¾
L	22	29 ⅜	19
XL	24	30 ¾	20 ½
2XL	26	31 ⅝	21 ¾
3XL	27 ¾	32 ½	23 ¼
4XL	29 ¾	33 ½	24 ⅝

Shipping Information: FREE delivery on all orders over $99

All sales final. We have your money and that chapter is closed. You clicked buy on a store called FartMart, so there are no change of mind returns and no exchanges, on anything. If the box arrives empty, smashed or holding somebody else's joke, email Gasman@FartMart.com within 14 days of delivery with your order number and a photo and we will replace it, or refund it if we cannot. "It smells like shit" is not a defect. That is the product.