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This is the shelf people raid first. Sprays, cushions, noise machines, fake poop and a wall of shirts nobody will thank you for. If you have no idea where to start, start here and let everybody else's poor decisions guide you.

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Same Age As Old People Tee
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Same Age As Old People Tee

Regular price $19.95
Sale price $19.95 Regular price
Unit price
One day you are the young one in the room. The next day somebody calls...
To Do List Your Mom Tee
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To Do List Your Mom Tee

Regular price $33.95
Sale price $33.95 Regular price
Unit price
The oldest joke in the book, printed on the back so it lands after you...
Not Gay If Its TSA Tee
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It's Not Gay If TSA Tee

Regular price From $20.95
Sale price From $20.95 Regular price
Unit price
Airport security has been getting away with it for years and nobody has ever said...
Im Lovin It Parody Tee
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Fast Food Butt Cheeks Tee

Regular price $24.95
Sale price $24.95 Regular price
Unit price
Two big yellow arches. Except they are not arches. Somebody looked at the most recognized...
Lemmon 714 Retro Rave Tee
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Lemmon 714 Retro Pill Tee

Regular price $27.95
Sale price $27.95 Regular price
Unit price
A straight steal from the golden era of very questionable decisions. The big white 714...
Ray Of Fcking Sunshine Tee
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Ray Of Fcking Sunshine Tee

Regular price $27.95
Sale price $27.95 Regular price
Unit price
Relentlessly positive. Aggressively cheerful. Absolutely not to be spoken to before the second coffee. This...
Welcome To The Shitshow Tee
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Welcome To The Shitshow Tee

Regular price $20.95
Sale price $20.95 Regular price
Unit price
Every group has one. The friend who books the venue, herds the stragglers, holds the...
Shaved My Balls Tee
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Shaved My Balls For This Tee

Regular price $20.95
Sale price $20.95 Regular price
Unit price
Somebody went to a lot of trouble. There was a razor involved. There was a...
Product mockup
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FartMart Fart Association Crest Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
Unit price
Membership Is Automatic, You Just Have To Admit It A full ceremonial crest. Gold laurel...
Product mockup
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FartMart Gas Station Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
Unit price
Full Service, No Waiting A caped superhero in blue and red leans casually against a...
Product mockup
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Professional Farter Licensed Gas Engineer Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
Unit price
Credentials Nobody Asked To See A laminated ID badge hanging from a lanyard, complete with...
Product mockup
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Dad The Man The Myth The Fart Machine Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
Unit price
Every Family Has One, Yours Is Wearing This A large bear in a blue shirt,...
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