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This is the shelf people raid first. Sprays, cushions, noise machines, fake poop and a wall of shirts nobody will thank you for. If you have no idea where to start, start here and let everybody else's poor decisions guide you.

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Certified Fart Master Tee

Regular price From $29.95
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Decades Of Training, One Very Specific Skill A small, ancient, green-skinned master in brown robes...
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Official Old Fart Legend Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
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Retired From Work, Not From This A silver-moustached gentleman in a LEGEND cap and sunglasses,...
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I Put The Art In Fart Painter Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
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Some Of Us Are Simply Born Gifted A gentle-looking painter with a very large perm...
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Sassy And Gassy Flamingo Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
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Pink On The Outside, Absolute Chaos Inside A flamingo in black sunglasses, standing on one...
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This Guy Loves To Fart Flexing Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
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He Is Not Hiding It, He Is Flexing About It Double biceps pose, sunglasses on,...
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Talk Behind Your Back Donkey Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
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The Only Comeback That Always Lands A donkey in sunglasses, standing there completely unbothered, firing...
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Certified Public Tooter Gas Mask Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
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Fully Licensed, Absolutely Unwelcome A circular badge with a figure in a full military gas...
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Queen Of Farts Throne Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
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Long May She Reign, Open A Window Gold crown, purple gown, red velvet throne, and...
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Sometimes I Just Be Fartin' Penguin Tee

Regular price From $29.95
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No Reason, No Warning, No Apology A penguin in a FARTMART cap and blue mirrored...
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Squat Now Fart Later Gym Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
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Leg Day Has Consequences A cartoon lifter in a red bandana, sunglasses on, deep in...
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I Whisper In My Pants Ninja Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
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Silent, Deadly, Extremely Well Trained A ninja in full black, crouched low in a fighting...
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World's Greatest Farter Trophy Tee

Regular price From $29.95
Sale price From $29.95 Regular price
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Somebody Had To Win It A gold trophy, a laurel wreath, a number one, and...
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